It Takes a Villiage
Which is more difficult and terrifying: Slaying a fire-breathing dragon, or raising a child?
The first task asks you to face a mighty, incomprehensible being with talons poised to rip your heart right out of your chest. The second asks you to face another mighty, incomprehensible being capable of tearing out your heart in a far deadlier way.
A good parent is greater than even the shiniest of knights. The weapon they wield is a thousand times heavier and more powerful than a sword — love. In a world that so often hurts and destroys, they have chosen to nurture instead.
But nothing says that they have to face childcare alone. Consider the village that the knight defends from the dragon — what if they stepped up as well? The mission of literally shaping a blank slate into a functioning human being might seem much less intimidating if more of us stand with parents.
Many psychologists and other developmental researchers say that the “village” approach goes beyond mere helpfulness. Establishing a larger community past immediate guardians often ensures stronger socialization for growing children and better mental health for all involved parties. Extra caring hands allow parents to breathe a little easier, children are excitedly exposed to a more diversified group of trusted mentors, and even you might find a bit of fulfillment in being the fun village member.
Here’s a couple of simple (and not creepily overstepping) tips to be that awesome village member:
· Speak to kids normally. None of that weird, babying nonsense. Kids might be in the process of learning about the world, but that doesn’t mean that they’re stupid.
· Remember milestones. Birthdays, graduations, first school plays (even if they are just playing Tree #2). You don’t even have to get presents! (Although that awesome Star Wars Lego set will definitely score you some cool points.) Just showing those kids that they’re on your mind is a great thing to do.
· Meditate with money. One of the first things that might come to mind with the notion of “the cool adult” is spoiling the kids with ultra-epic presents and parties (see that awesome Lego set from before). But it’s important to be careful where credit cards are concerned — you might risk making parents feel uncomfortably indebted, utterly spoiling the children, or spending money honestly better spent on personal things. I know that ten-year-old is the most amazing person in the world, but does she really need a hundred-dollar designer princess dress?
· Literally just be a decent human being when you’re around a child. Children of all ages (even teenagers, regardless of what they might claim), are impressionable. Show them the importance of being careful, kind, and compassionate. Or at least remember to say “don’t do this” before running that super unnecessary stop sign.
· Check in on parents, too! Whether they’ve got new hatchlings or almost fully-fledged, fire-breathing teens on their hands, things are definitely going to get heated. Even just providing a parent a safe space to vent can make all the difference. It’s not rocket science: A well-supported parent will have more energy to better support their children.
Pretty easy, right? It told you the list would be simple. It all really just comes down to building a basic awareness of a child and their parents. They exist! They need love! But as cheesy as it is, even the smallest of loving acts can make all the difference in a child’s life (and parent’s life), ensuring that they really do grow up to be as big and strong as a dragon.